Playing Basketball
First produced at the Tipping Point Theatre’s Sandbox Festival, June 2012
PLAYING BASKETBALL
By
Lori Eaton
Cast:
Honey………………. Early 50s, wife
Donald……………… Early 50s, husband
Scene: Suburban driveway on a fall football Saturday. The stage is empty save for a lawn chair and a stepladder.
At rise: DONALD sits in the lawn chair drinking a beer. He wears a college sweatshirt. HONEY enters from the street wearing a college sweatshirt of the same ilk. She carries a bag of groceries and a gallon of milk.
HONEY: I thought you’d be done by now. You said you’d take the basketball hoop down as soon as the football game was over. I even set up the ladder and put out some tools.
DONALD: The defense looked like crap today. Full of holes.
HONEY: Like your memory. (beat) Fine, I’ll do myself.
(She puts the groceries down, climbs the ladder, applies tools to basketball hoop.)
DONALD: What’s the big rush?
HONEY: We agreed.
DONALD: You agreed. I’m fine with it right where it is.
HONEY: It’s an eye sore.
DONALD: Says who?
HONEY: Look, down the block. See the Simpson’s house?
DONALD: Yeah, looks fine to me.
HONEY: Their kids are in their 30s and they’ve still got that basketball hoop hanging over their garage.
DONALD: Maybe they’re keeping it up for the grandkids. What’s wrong with that?
HONEY: It just shows they can’t accept it.
DONALD: Accept what?
HONEY: Where they are in life.
DONALD: Where is that?
HONEY: They’re kids are grown. They’re not tied down by school schedules. They should be traveling, seeing the world. But instead they’re stuck here.
DONALD: So you’re saying you’d rather see a big old RV parked in their driveway.
HONEY: Maybe. That would be better than pretending your kids are gonna come walking back in the door any minute.
(Don finishes beer, begins to dribble and shoot an imaginary basketball.)
DONALD: Swish! Hah. See? Still good as new.
HONEY: The net is rotting away and the paint has worn completely off. Do you even remember what color it used to be?
DONALD: I could paint it, no problem. And hang a new net.
HONEY: That’s not the point.
DONALD: You never know. I might use it more myself if it had a net.
HONEY: (beat) Keeping that eyesore isn’t going to change anything.
DONALD: Who said I want to change anything? You’re the one who’s yapping about change.
HONEY: God, you’re acting like he died or something.
DONALD: I am not.
HONEY: He went off to college.
DONALD: I know. I pay the bills.
HONEY: Isn’t that what we wanted?
DONALD: I just...I wasn’t ready.
HONEY: We had eighteen years to get ready.
DONALD: You act like you don’t even miss him.
HONEY: Of course I miss him.
DONALD: You redecorated his room the first week.
HONEY: Moving forward is better than leaving the light on in his room like he's gonna walk in the door any minute.
DONALD: It looks like he’s home when the light’s on.
HONEY: But he’s not home and he never truly will be again. You just need to have a good cry. It’ll make you feel better.
DONALD: I don't see you crying.
HONEY: Not when you're around.
DONALD: You're happy he's gone.
HONEY: That’s not true.
DONALD: No more tripping over shoes the size of battleships or washing Mt. Everest piles of laundry.
HONEY: In the carwash.
DONALD: What?
HONEY: Something about the suds running down the windshield just broke the dam. I cried like my heart was broken. Like the love of my life just left me forever. (beat) Maybe you should try it.
DONALD: I'm not going to the carwash, it's supposed to rain tomorrow.
HONEY: Then you better get that hoop down today.
DONALD: Yeah, yeah.
HONEY: You didn't put that hoop up there, you know.
DONALD: Sure I did. We got it for the kid's fifth birthday.
HONEY: We didn’t move into this house until he turned seven.
DONALD: I know I put a basketball hoop up somewhere.
HONEY: That bungalow we rented maybe?
DONALD: I remember picking it out in the sporting goods store. I could see us playing H.O.R.S.E. at first, then as he got older, a little one-on-one.
HONEY: It’s just another reminder. Like the skid marks on the driveway from his bike and the worn spot on the arm of the couch where he always put his feet. Look at this. (holds up jug of milk) I don’t know why I’m still buying so much milk. We never drink it all.
DONALD: So don’t buy so much milk.
HONEY: Then you take down the basketball hoop.
DONALD: We used to play H.O.R.S.E. out here all the time.
HONEY: Maybe on a weekend now and then. You always said you were too tired when you got home from work.
DONALD: He could have been good if he practiced more. He spent too much time playing those damn drums.
HONEY: He didn’t even make the middle school team and you put so much pressure on him to try out.
DONALD: That’s not how I remember it.
HONEY: But that’s how it was. We did our best.
DONALD: I wasn't done yet. (beat) We never built the model rocket I bought when I went to that sales conference in Houston.
HONEY: It’s still sitting in a box in the basement.
DONALD: I was gonna take him hunting.
HONEY: You don’t even own a gun.
DONALD: We were supposed to drive across the country and see all the national monuments from Mount Rushmore to Yellowstone.
HONEY: I’ll go with you.
DONALD: Maybe after I retire.
HONEY: You’ll work till you drop. You know that. But if you’re not careful, I might just be the next to go.
DONALD: What’s that supposed to mean?
HONEY: Look, I miss him, too. But our job is pretty much done. We taught him what we could. Now he’s in college and you and me, well, here we are.
DONALD: Where else would we be?
HONEY: I mean, it’s just us. He’s not here to be the thing we have in common.
DONALD: We’ve got the house.
HONEY: For now we do.
DONALD: You want to sell the house now?
HONEY: Not right away. But--
DONALD: Jesus, you’re yanking rugs out from under me left and right. You know what? No. I can’t do this. It’s too much. It’s too fast. He’s only been gone two months and you want to change everything.
HONEY: If we don’t make changes now we’ll end up like my parents.
DONALD: They’ve been married fifty-five years. I’d say that’s pretty good.
HONEY: They talk to each other on walkie-talkies from opposite ends of the house. They watch TV in separate rooms. That’s not an example I want to follow.
DONALD: I’m thinking about next week and you’re thinking about next year. I need time.
HONEY: Time for what?
DONALD: I don’t know.
HONEY: I’m not saying it has to happen all at once.
DONALD: Thank God for that.
HONEY: We can start small.
DONALD: How small?
HONEY: We could try to do more together.
DONALD: Like what?
(Donald dribbles, shoots, makes a basket then passes to Honey. They begin to play H.O.R.S.E.)
HONEY: Not bad.
DONALD: Here, give it a try.
(She shoots and misses.)
HONEY: Darn! (beat) We could go to the movies.
DONALD: So now you have H. (beat) Tonight?
(He shoots and misses.)
HONEY: Sure, why not?
(She shoots and makes the shot.)
DONALD: Yeah, okay.
(He misses again.)
HONEY: That means H for you, right?
DONALD: Pass it here.
HONEY: There’s that new Mission Impossible movie out.
(Donald makes the shot, passes the ball to Honey.)
DONALD: Ha! (beat) You don’t mind seeing an action movie?
HONEY: Tom Cruise is easy on the eyes. (dribbling the ball) How come we never played this before?
DONALD: Too bad this hoop is slated for demolition.
HONEY: Maybe it wouldn’t look so bad with a coat of paint and a new net.
DONALD: We could stop by the hardware store on the way to the movies.
(Donald and Honey continue to play.)
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